Golden Girl: A young woman who has become unusually successful at an early age. A favored youth, held in high esteem by others, and for whom there are high hopes.

– Google

This one is for the girls! Well anyone can read but I felt a specific heart towards women in this. I’m writing this extremely vulnerable post in hopes to reach a girl who needs this. It’s funny when you think a good thing is what will always sustain you. It’s crazy when our securities are found in good things but not the main thing.

Recently, our family relocated to Southern California. If you know my family you know we have always lived in suburban areas, small towns, great communities, etc. For my husband, our kids, and I, this is our first time living in a big place. It’s different for sure, but it’s a good different. I honestly feel like we are called here and therefore it makes it so purposeful! One thing about being in this new season and new place is the beauty of God doing a work in our hearts. Some days it’s easy to write about and sometimes I can hardly make sense of it all. However, lately I have been feeling God tell me that my “Golden Girl Era” is officially over.

You may be like- Wait, hold on a minute!! Isn’t being a golden girl a good thing!? Well sure it is, but it’s not good when that’s where your security is found. I’ve noticed a trend in my life lately- a trend of discovering where I am putting my value and security in. Wow, this feels so vulnerable!? Hope you are still following along!

For my whole adult life, I have always been aiming towards this standard of appearance of someone you can count on, someone the community needs, someone successful. I love that!! I think it’s great- until it’s not anymore. Until it no longer satisfies your soul!!! I’m learning there is one thing my soul is craving. It’s Jesus. It’s Him walking in the room, satisfying our hearts. It’s a Mary heart. Simple, sitting at his feet. Simple.

Recently, one of my sons had a hard day at school. I hardly know the teacher, I don’t know anyone at the school really. As soon as I finished talking with her about this hard day, I came home angry. I came home mad. I came home thinking, “Doesn’t she know who I am?” “Doesn’t she know, we are the NEILL FAMILY?” Y’all, I am not kidding, I was like a defensive line football player. I was in the game- ready to defend my name and my family. After a few days of processing this internally, I was ready for this yucky feeling to go! I don’t want that false security of people “knowing my name” anymore. I started to notice my own sin that I have been carrying for years. I voiced out loud to a friend about this pride I had been carrying. A pride that gave me security in rooms I stepped into. It has been a pride of wanting to be “known” in every space. I don’t know if you have ever felt this but I want to give you a few simple steps that she prayed over me.

• Confess it! Say it out loud! Just get humble, get gentle.
• Cancel any permission you have ever given the enemy! He doesn’t get the key to your life.
• Command it to leave- whatever you are dealing with! For me it was pride- it was a false sense of security!
• Ask the Holy Spirit to Come and fill that space of your heart!!!!!

He’s so good. He’s so gentle and patient with us! Instead of leaving that moment with shame, truly I felt so free!!! I found my security again. I felt different after that moment taking my kids to school. I felt hope. I felt joy! There is a verse I have been reading over an over lately. Now it all makes sense but I hope it helps your heart too.

Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.

Psalm 34:5-6

I feel like he wants to lighten someones load today. The load they are carrying of being the golden girl. The load of people pleasing while your soul is craving something much deeper. He wants to bring radiance to your face again! It’s a new season, a new day, it’s like a spring rain! The soil is getting soft again in your life! For us, how good it is to be near God. He wants you to walk in His freedom! I think being an honorable person, a highly favored woman is an amazing thing. Please value yourself and your character. Know that your obedience to him will make your presence around others so sweet and light. It will be His presence that springs forth security in you. When you can walk in that with purity it makes it so much sweeter. If you ever need someone to process with or someone to help you in your openness and hunger for something deeper, feel free to message me.

xo